When We Were Young
by Cheeyathebard
Summary: It's been a long time since Kara and Alex broke up... but some feelings never go away.


A/N: So this is my first try at Kalex. I don't feel that it's my best work but I'm giving it a go! Characters aren't mine. Mistakes are.

"Kara?" Alex leaned her arm on the door and spoke quietly through it. "I'm sorry about earlier. Can we talk?"

Inside her apartment, Kara was lying on her couch, still in her supersuit and working her way through a large tub of ice-cream. She scratched her knee absently as she glanced through the door but she wasn't sure she wanted to talk to Alex right now. What had happened earlier between them had left her raw and hurt. However, seeing her sister looking so upset tugged at her heart so she put her ice-cream back in the freezer and went to the door. She opened it and then just went back to flop onto the couch again, her cape draping over the cushions. The dark-haired agent followed her across the room, setting her purse on the kitchen table as she did so, and taking a seat in an armchair. "I didn't expect you to come over," Kara began.

Alex was leaning forward, her forearms resting on her knees and her head bowed as she gazed at the floor. "You took me by surprise…" she replied softly. "I know that's no excuse for the way I treated you but…"

Kara cleared her throat and tucked her legs underneath her as she leaned on the arm of the sofa. "I kissed you," she said with a shrug.

"But why?" Alex asked, looking up. "Why now? I thought we agreed that we weren't going to do… that… again."

The hero shrugged again. "I just… it was a spur of the moment feeling." She looked down at her hands laced in her lap. "We agreed we weren't going to be together like that but it doesn't mean those feelings went away for me, Alex. I had a moment of weakness and I'm sorry."

For a long moment, the agent just gazed out the window, her memory flashing back eight years…

" _God, Kara, your lips are so soft." Alex leaned up again as Kara met her half way, her fingers stroking through the older girl's hair as she lay half on top of her. The sea breeze was warm and in the darkness, lying on a blanket on the roof outside Alex's bedroom window, their hands explored each other, sliding over passion-heated skin and then places more intimate… leaving them both shuddering and muffling each other's cries of pleasure with gentle kisses._

"I'm sorry," Kara said again, getting up and moving to the window to press her palms against it and lean forward. "Sometimes, the word sister doesn't feel…" She shook her head, tears spilling down her cheeks.

"… true," Alex finished softly. She moved slowly across the room and stood behind Kara, resting her hands on her hips and her chin on her shoulder. "Is this because I've been seeing Maggie?" The hero shook her head quickly. "You can tell me."

Kara whirled, her cape swinging around the agent as she lifted her hands pleadingly. "What do you want me to say? Yes, it's true? Because I think you already know that it's not. Rao knows, this is not new, Alex!"

Alex was suddenly angry too and she grasped Kara's biceps, searching her blue eyes. "What do you want ME to say? God help me, I do love you, Kara. But everyone knows that we're sisters."

Then Kara's hands were cupping Alex's cheeks. "Foster sisters," she reminded softly. Her voice lowered to an almost whisper. "And I know how it feels to touch you… to make love with you. Alex, when we were together it never felt like you were my sister."

"Kara…" Alex groaned. "We were just kids. It was a long time ago."

"We were together for a whole year," Kara replied, shaking her head a little. "That means SOMETHING. But, tell me you don't feel that way for me now and I'll never mention it again."

The agent shook her head and turned away. "Kara, I'm in love with Maggie."

With a sharp intake of breath, Kara covered her face. "I-I know. I'm so sorry." She backed away and then pushed open the window, retreating into the night sky in a blur of blue and red.

Alex took a few steps forward, her hand reaching out. "KARA! Wait!"

But she knew the hero wouldn't come back.

..

"Could you contact her please?" Agent Danvers sighed as J'Onn lifted an eyebrow at her. "She's not talking to me." Alex had deduced this by the fourteen calls Kara had not answered so far that day.

The DEO Director sighed and pulled out his cell. "Ok."

Fifteen minutes later, Supergirl was landing on the DEO balcony and striding into the command center. Alex offered her a smile but even though Kara half returned it, she couldn't meet her sister's eyes. Instead, she brushed past and went straight to J'Onn. "What's up?"

The director was surprised but just turned and walked to the large central monitor. "We're picking up an alien signature following a bank robbery downtown."

Kara nodded. "I just came from there but I didn't see anything out of the ordinary. I'll go back and take another look."

"We can take a team down there…" Alex began but Kara lifted a hand as she left.

"I got it."

Alex sighed softly and looked down, perching her hands on her hips as she willed back tears. J'Onn reached out and squeezed her shoulder. "Want to talk about it?"

"I… I can't… but…" The agent choked out, lifting sad brown eyes. "Read my mind?"

J'Onn lifted a hand in question. "Alex, are you sure?"

Sitting down in a chair and sniffling softly, Alex nodded. "I'm… confused. I don't know what to do."

"I understand," the tall man replied. He pulled a chair close and sat, placing one hand soothingly on Alex's shoulder and the other on top of her head. Then he closed his eyes. Alex thought back to Midvale. To that time when she was eighteen and Kara was seventeen and they'd been so in love with each other that nothing else had mattered… until the reality of their situation had kicked in and Alex had left for college. And they'd decided over the phone, with tear-filled eyes and voices, that they couldn't be together like that. That they could only be sisters and there would have to be boundaries. But the decision had really been Alex's.

She took a shuddering breath, thinking back to the afternoon before when Kara had stomped all over those boundaries after a tickle fight in the lab had gotten out of hand. They'd ended up with Alex's back pressed against the wall and the hero's hands tangled in her hair as they kissed each other hungrily. The agent had wanted so badly to continue kissing Kara even as she was shoving hard against her chest and ordering her to stop.

And then there was Alex's feelings for Maggie… Gorgeous, smart, sweet Maggie… She began to cry harder and J'Onn sighed as he eased back and then hugged her gently. "Alex."

"I know," she cried. "It's all so…"

"Complicated?" The agent nodded as J'Onn smiled. "You're very lucky to have two people who love you, Alex. But I know things with Kara are complicated because you have family history."

"Y-you don't think it's… wrong? With Kara, I mean?" Alex asked, wiping her eyes on her sleeve.

"Of course not," the Martian replied. "You fell in love with each other. What's wrong about that? Your mother gave you both the title of sisters, but it doesn't make it true. You don't share blood."

"That's what Kara said," Alex nodded, a little more calm. "But I don't know what to do. She completely blindsided me yesterday and when she was kissing me, I wanted her to. But I do love Maggie, J'Onn. God, I love them both."

"Alex," J'Onn said softly. "The person you need to think about IS Maggie. If you ARE still in love with Kara, is it fair to continue a relationship with Maggie? You have to work this out for yourself."

Alex just groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose.

..

Supergirl was upset. In fact, she was more than upset. She was so distracted that she didn't even hear Detective Sawyer coming up behind her as she was examining some footprints she'd found at the side of the bank.

"Supergirl, hey."

The hero started and straightened quickly. "Maggie, hi," she replied, rubbing her face and faking a little smile.

But the detective tilted her head. "Are you ok?" she asked worriedly.

"Yeah." Supergirl's smile was more genuine this time. "I'm ok. Just some… stuff… you know…" She waved a hand dismissively. "How about you?"

"Yeah, I'm good, thanks," Maggie replied with a little grin. "I heard there may have been an alien involved in the robbery earlier.

"Alex?" Supergirl asked.

"Yeah, she called."

The blonde frowned. "I told her I didn't need any help."

Maggie shrugged. "She loves you and worries about you."

Supergirl sucked in a breath, trying desperately to stop herself from crying again. "Yeah," she said. She couldn't look Alex in the eye earlier and now she couldn't look at Maggie either. She felt like Fort Rozz was pressing down on her shoulders all over again. "Do you think you could have your forensics team take a look at these footprints?" she asked, changing the subject quickly.

"Sure," the detective replied, pulling out her cell phone.

"Thanks," the hero replied. "I've gotta go. See you later." She raised her fist to take off but Maggie quickly glanced around and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Kara… be careful up there, ok?"

"I will," Supergirl replied and then shot into the sky, leaving the petite detective behind. She flew for a long time, completing one trip around the Earth, followed by a second and then a third. Every time she hit North America, her phone blew up with voicemails and texts from the people who cared about her but she knew that, if she stopped, everything would catch up with her again. Finally, she slowed down and headed for her apartment. It was dark out and she pushed the window open as she landed in her living room and went to the refrigerator to get a bottle of water, pondering if she should order three large pizzas or four.

Closing the door of the fridge, Kara opened the bottle and gulped down half of it. But she suddenly realized that she wasn't alone. Walking to the couch, the hero sucked in a frightened breath. Alex was lying there with one arm hanging over the edge, her fingertips barely touching the floor. Beside her hand was an empty bottle of scotch, the kind that Alex favored when she was trying to get really wasted.

Kneeling down, the young blonde gently stroked her sister's hair back from her eyes. To her relief, she could hear Alex's heartbeat, strong and steady inside her chest but when the older woman stirred and opened her eyes, Kara pulled her hand away. "Hey."

"Where have you been?" Alex asked, blinking slowly as her words slurred a little.

"It doesn't matter," the hero replied. "I'm here now. I'm so sorry, Alex. Can you forgive me?"

"Forgive you?" the agent replied. "Kara, I yelled at you… twice."

Kara chuckled. "I gave you plenty to yell about." She sighed then. "It's late. Let's just go to bed. We can talk in the morning." When the agent nodded, Kara helped her to stand and walk into the bedroom. Moments later, they were in pajamas and tucked up side by side. Alex fell straight back to sleep but Kara lay awake for a long time, just thinking. Eventually, sleep took her too.

..

"Alex, what's wrong?" Maggie asked softly as she ran her fingertips up and down her girfriend's bare back. "You've been distant the last couple of days. Did I do something wrong?"

Lifting her head, Alex smiled and placed a kiss on the detective's lips. "No, of course not," she replied. "Kara and I are just going through a rough patch. I'm finding it hard to think about anything else at the moment."

"Want to talk about it?" Maggie asked, her eyebrow raised.

The agent sighed. "Thanks for the offer… but it's kinda…"

"Personal?"

Alex rested her head on the detective's shoulder, her fingertips moving slowly along her collarbone. "Yeah."

"Can I ask you something?" Maggie murmured. "It's something that's kinda bugging me."

"Of course."

"Does Kara have feelings for you that aren't exactly… sisterly?" Alex's complete silence confirmed Maggie's suspicions and she sat up, covering her nakedness with the bedsheet. "And do you have those feelings for her?"

"Why are you asking me this?" the agent asked.

"Because I've seen how she looks at you…" Maggie's mouth clamped itself shut, not wanting to overstep.

Alex shook her head and sighed. "A long time ago, Kara and I were together as lovers. But we b-broke… broke up." The agent wasn't sure why she stumbled over those words. Maybe because she'd never said them out loud before.

"How long is a long time ago?"

"Eight years. We were teenagers."

Maggie nodded. "She still loves you like that, you know."

The agent nodded. "I know." She tucked her knees up under her chin, wrapping her arms around them. "Something happened a few days ago. it's opened some old wounds for both of us."

The detective frowned. "Something like what?" She sucked in a deep breath. "Did you sleep with her?"

Alex shook her head. "No, of course not, Maggie. It was… we just… kissed."

Maggie bristled. "She kissed you? She actually kissed you?"

The agent got out of bed and started to get dressed, knowing that this was going to become an argument and wanted to have a little more armor for her emotions. "It was a mistake. A spur of the moment, during heightened emotion… thing."

Then came the big question. "Did you kiss her back?!"

Alex's hands shook as she buttoned up her jeans. "Yes… No… Kind of… I was shocked but I told her to stop. We stopped."

Maggie felt like she was short of breath and she held up a hand. "Get out, Alex." The agent tried to reach out to her but Maggie slapped her hand away. "I said get out! I need time to think."

Alex nodded, blinking back tears. "I'm just being honest, Maggie. This has nothing to do with how I feel about you. It was a mistake and it won't happen again." Slipping into her leather jacket, Alex checked for her keys and wallet before heading out.

..

Kara leaned heavily on her desk, her chest aching as she re-read the text Alex had sent her.

 _Maggie knows. She needs time away from me to think. I need time to think too so I think it's best if we don't see each other for a while, Kara. I'll call you soon._

Tears formed in the hero's eyes and she closed them, trying to just breathe through the pain. Her spur of the moment not-decision had messed thing up royally but the hardest thing to swallow was that she had no regrets about kissing Alex. She just regretted the consequences.

"Ponytail." The gruff voice startled Kara and she looked up, quickly wiping her face.

"Yes, Sir?" she replied, meeting Snapper's eyes squarely.

"I have a story for you. By Friday at 5pm." He threw a piece of paper at her, turned on his heel and walked away. Kara caught the paper before it hit her desk top and scanned through it. The topic made her close her eyes and shake her head. Of course, he would give her the one thing she could never write about. _Secret Government Organizations in National City. Who are they?_ Could this day actually get any worse?

..

Supergirl couldn't get up. She was exhausted and hurt and she just wanted to give up. The alien of the day… she couldn't even remember what it was called… stood over her, its razor sharp claws at the ready. She was already covered in bloody slices that weren't healing.

"Alex," Kara murmured, teetering on the edge of unconsciousness. She suspected that she'd solar flared from using too much heat vision. "I'm sorry for everything. I love you."

She'd heard nothing from her sister for two weeks. Alex had been avoiding her, even at the DEO, and Kara missed her so much it made her cry every day. But then a familiar voice sounded in her ear. "Oh hell no. There's no way I'm losing you, Supergirl. Just hold on. We're thirty-seconds away."

"Copy, Agent Danvers." Mustering up every ounce of strength she had left, the hero got up and narrowly avoided the lethal swipe of claws heading her way. She staggered away, holding her ribs and ducking behind a car with some bystanders whom she didn't realize were there. "Stay down," she said hoarsely.

"You're hurt, Supergirl," a little dark-headed girl said, worriedly. "Can I help you?"

"I'll be ok," the hero smiled, suddenly reminded of why she was doing what she was doing. "Just take care of your Mom, ok?" Then she stepped back out from behind the car and moved towards the… Yeah, she finally remembered… the Falcor.

"Supergirl, you're braver than I thought," he said, his voice deep and melodic as his wings spread wide. "Or maybe more stupid."

"Protecting people is never stupid," the hero replied. "You'll have to come through me to hurt anyone else."

"And me!" Alex was suddenly by her sister's side.

"Thanks for coming," Supergirl replied as she felt her ribs start to ease. Thankfully she hadn't completely lost her powers and the wicked slices in her skin began to close as the sunlight energized her cells and kickstarted the healing process.

"I love you and I'll always come but I think we should concentrate on the giant eagle looking thingy right now." She aimed her pulse rifle and fired off a few shots into the alien's chest as Kara used her freeze breath to encase him in ice. He struggled over and over but finally, the sisters managed to render him unconscious so he could be taken away.

Once everything had settled down again, Alex led Kara to one of the DEO Suburbans and slid in behind the wheel. She tilted her head back against the headrest and closed her eyes as the hero settled her cape. "Are you ok?" Kara asked quietly.

"Not really," the older Danvers replied.

"This is all my fault," Kara replied softly. "If only I hadn't let my feelings get the better of me."

"It's my fault too," Alex replied. "I haven't handled things between us well. Not then and not now." She shook her head. "The bottom line is… I love you, Kara." She looked at the hero then and took her hand. "I wanted to kiss you so badly that day in the lab and it just proved to me that I was an idiot to think I could just forget how I feel about you, even after eight years."

Kara nodded seriously. "But what about Maggie?"

Alex looked down. "She made the decision that we're better off as friends."

The hero nodded again.

"You know, it's true," the agent said, reaching out to cup Kara's cheek. "It is possible to love more than one person." She chuckled then. "And I really want to kiss you right now but probably best if we did that without the cape."

"Right," Kara replied with a little grin.

But then Alex's face sobered. "Kara, I'm sorry. I've wasted so much time. But… will you be with me now?"

"God, yes," the hero replied and, throwing caution to the wind, leaned over and kissed Alex softly on the lips. "We'll continue that later," she added as she eased back, a huge grin splitting her face.

..

Sitting on the couch in her apartment with a glass of wine in her hand and Kara tucked under her arm against her, Alex relaxed with a sigh. The Kryptonian's hand snuck under her shirt and gently rubbed her stomach. "You remember," the agent smiled, kissing Kara's head.

"How could I forget?" the hero replied with a grin. "This always helped you to relax and fall asleep when you were stressed. And you were stressed a lot if I remember correctly."

"Yeah," the agent agreed. "It was my favorite part of the day… being with you like that, I mean. I missed you so much when I went to school."

"Mmmm…" Kara agreed. She took a breath then. "Alex, we need to tell Eliza."

"Ummm… we can invite her to the wedding, whenever that happens."

"Did you just propose to me?" the younger woman asked, her eyes wide.

"No, no, definitely not! I'm never getting married," Alex teased, watching as Kara frowned. "Definitely not," she repeated, ducking her head to kiss the hero soundly. "Ok, maybe someday."

"Mmmm… maybe someday," Kara agreed.


End file.
